He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I need a burrito and a hug.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize