if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
