No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
