i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
