Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
