fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize