so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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