Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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