its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
