you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize