sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
