what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize