you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think my moral compass just broke
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
