Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
