I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
