bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
