you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
