I hate your face
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
