i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize