on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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