His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
