She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize