I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
