Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
