Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
