Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
