More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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