Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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