Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
