hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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