i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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