you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
