I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
