yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
