I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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