One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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