we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
