stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You took a bar mat shot.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you never un-have a 4some
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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