just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize