Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we made out on top of his cat.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
