Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
