i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
