i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
