I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
