We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
