totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
