what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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