she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
