I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
