Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
