i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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