The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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