Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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