i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
