I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
BRING THE BAGELS
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