I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize