Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
