Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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