Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize