The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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