I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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