I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
