Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
