ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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