If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
