so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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