I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
