Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize