sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
