you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
