I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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