Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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