Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
