Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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