Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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