The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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