last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So. Much. Porn.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
